sunflower-beams:

Wait there for just a minute, mom’s calling!
In the meantime, why don’t you ask a question in the mailbox?

sunflower-beams:

Wait there for just a minute, mom’s calling!

In the meantime, why don’t you ask a question in the mailbox?

strawberrygrave:

champagnewithpapi:

"I coulda dropped my croissant"

THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE VINE

Anonymous asked: I read one of your posts from a while back where you said you saw two homeless men going at it in a park. Did that really happen? I need to hear this story.

drinkyourfuckingmilk:

oH IT HAPPENED (careful, this will be NSFW). I used to work at a hospital in the kitchens, serving meals to patients, etc, and the shift always ended late at night. So I was walking to the bus stop after my shift, and I had to go through a park to get there. It was almost midnight by this point.  

And as I was reaching the other side of the park I heard a series of weird and suspicious noises going on and I noticed that no less than four meters away from me there was a man performing aggressive fellatio on another man and I just sort of froze, simultaneously terrified and mesmerized. One does not simply ignore public acts of sucking dick. 

But then they both realized I was standing there and looked around at me, standing in my custard-stained candy-striped coloured uniform (the guy on his knees peeked around the other dudes waist like “exCUSE ME”) and I fucking freaked the fuck out, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE PROTOCOL WAS IN THIS SITUATION, SHOULD I RUN? SHOULD I SAY SOMETHING? SHOULD I APPLAUD? THEY BOTH JUST KEPT STARING AT ME AND I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO LIKE

I ended up just running full-speed out of the park all the way to the bus stop, and then just sat on the bus for the hour-long ride with the most shell-shocked expression you can imagine. I told my dad about it when I got home and he laughed so hard he had to leave the room. 

laughingbear:

Everybody say “Fuzzy Pickles!”

laughingbear:

Everybody say “Fuzzy Pickles!”

drparisa:

soulparticle:

Grand Theft Venice

#i then boated around the city belting out that’s amore
WHEN YOUR BOAT GETS SHANGAIED BY A WEIRD HOODED GUY,
THAT’S AMORE

drparisa:

soulparticle:

Grand Theft Venice

#i then boated around the city belting out that’s amore

WHEN YOUR BOAT GETS SHANGAIED BY A WEIRD HOODED GUY,

THAT’S AMORE

realenoshima:

image

COCK-A-DOODLE—

image

do you think im sexy

jynnne:

I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.

jynnne:

I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.

joel + character development.

Bridget/16/♀

howdy ho
what are you up to
☼ was navy-squeal ☼